September's Box O' Love

OK, that sounds kinda dirty, but what the hell. Anyway, Since I started ordering the bulk of my big-ticket items every month from Discount Comic Book Service, each month I've been receiving a sizable box of hardcovers, trades and the occasional, severely discounted single issue. While I've long considered reviewing these boos en mass, that's proved unworkable, mostly because, I'm kind of lazy. Anyway, I'm going to attempt to at least post each month with the contents of the box, and my first impressions. This shouldn't be that hard, since most of this stuff I'm buying for the second or third time, so let's g to the box:

Gotham Central: Volume 1

Case in point, this is the third time I'm buying this content, however, I'm excited that DC is collecting this whole series now, rather than the rather piecemeal way they had done it before, leaving out random issues and story-arcs (I know it wasn't exactly random, but it still bugged me). ANYWAY, if you've talked to me about comics for more than five minutes, you'll know that this is among my top-three favorite series ever. The set-up seems simple: what does it mean to be a cop in a superhero universe. Specifically, Gotham City. The series focuses on the Detectives of the Major Crimes Unit, hand-picked by (now former) Commissioner Gordon, they are the one division of the entire department not rife with corruption. These are the best of the best, and they really don't like the fact that whenever there's a serious threat, they have to sit on the sidelines while some asshole in a bat get-up is called in to save the day. I really could go on for several hours about my love of this series (and I may in a future post), but suffice to say, this is the best superhero book for non-superhero readers and I can't recommend it enough.




A Tribute to Gene Colan

Paging through this book, I was shocked to see how much work Mr. Colan did for Marvel in the 1970's. This book, put out to help him out in his current time of need collects several stories with remembrances written by current writers (Ed Brubaker) and past collaborators (Stan Lee). There's some good stuff here, some old-school Iron Man, some Dr. Strange, some Tomb of Dracula (which reminds me, I really need to pick up that Essentials collection), and an excellent Dr. Doom story. Another great book, that helps out a great cause.






Batman: The Black Glove

Continuing Grant Morrison's run on Batman, The Black Glove kicks off with the Club of Heroes story, which is, quite simply, the best three issues of any Batman comic I've read in years. It does what Morrison does best, combines the bat-shit crazy with the f@#$-yeah awesome with a light topping of emotional resonance. It helps that J.H. Williams III drew the fuck out of it too.

Also collected in this tome is the less successful follow-up arc bringing back the three crazy replacement batmen that had previously shown up in Morrison's first arc. It's certainly not bad, but there's a bit of a let-down from the excellent preceding arc, and the fact that, while not awful, Tony Daniel isn't a very good artist.

Black Summer

And finally, I picked up Warren Ellis's Black Summer. I had picked up the first two issues of this series initially, and they were good, but nothing exceptional, but I was done in by the discount on this one. Me and my love of bargains.

Anyway, the set-up is, what happens if Superman realizes that George W. Bush's actions in Iraq are criminal and then decides to kill the President and his cabinet? Well, according to Warren Ellis, the US Government will then try to go to war with his friends. This is a fight comic writ large, and while there's not a lot here, it's still pretty cool.

So that's what I got this month, I'll try to keep up in the next few.

Live Tonight: The Wedding Present [Updated]

Going to see The Wedding Present, one of my favorite pop-rock bands from my college days. Not much to say, other than that I'm sure that I'll be seeing a great show and I highly recommend you check them out when they come to your town. Here's their most recent video:



UPDATE: So check all that above, instead of going to the show, I'll be attending the Cubs vs. the LA Dodgers tonight. I am very fucking stoked.

Live Tonight: My Bloody Valentine

Continuing my week o' shows, tonight, we have shoeazer legends My Bloody Valentine. Despite the hefty price ($40 before fees) and the crap venue (the cavernous Aragon Ballroom), I knew if I skipped this show, I'd be kicking myself for eternity. Needless to say, I'm excited...and I'm bringing earplugs. Enjoy this little slice of feedback-y heaven:

Live Tonight: Stars

Beginning tonight, I'm seeing a stunning 3 live shows in one week. This may not seem too amazing, but seeing as I'm getting old, I can't remember the last time I had a log jam like this. Fortunately, all three bands are favorites, especially tonight's, the Canadian pop outfit Stars. I've been a fan since picking up their first EP A Lot Of Little Lies For The Sake Of One Big Truth. I own all of their albums (all available on eMusic), and there;s not a clunker in the bunch, though I'd start with their latest, In Our Bedroom After the War. Here's the video for one of my favorite singles, Elevator Love Song:

Get Your War On: Animated

This is so fucking wrong, but it makes me laugh so much:



Oh, this one cracks me up too:

CUBS WIN! (well, kinda)

As a huge Chicago Cubs fan, I am unbelievably stoked that they've gotten into the post-season yet again. However, as a Cubs fan, this means, that a week from today I will be entering into a new form of daily stress, that which is only rivaled (in my experience) by having a newborn child. So, if I start updating with nothing but tirades of expletives, I hope you understand.

Anyway, I guess I'll just soak it in for the next few days. Here's something to enjoy, though I'm not the biggest fan of Pearl Jam, or, Eddie Vedder, I've gotta admit, his Cubs song, "All the Way", isn't bad:

Dear DC,

While I am very thankful that you have decided to collect my childhood favorite, Justice League International into some very nice hardcovers, but, couldn't you have fixed some of the rather sketchy lettering? For example:



I understand that it was the same in both the original issue and the first paperback collection, but come on, I'm now buying this book for the third time, why can't you help me out?

Then again, this new collection did provide me with the wonder of this full-page throw-down between Rick Flag & Batman:



So I guess I should just shut my yap and wait patiently for volume 3.

Friday Night Fights - Ladies' Night: Round 7

Featuring:
Black Canary
Vs.
Rocket Red

FIGHT!

Ahhhh...feels good to be back. Thanks be to Bahlactus!

This little slice of heaven was brought to you by Justice League International Volume 1.

Anatomy of a Pull-List: Yet Again

Conditional Jeff's recent post on his pairing down of his pull list has led me to take a look at mine. Back in March '07, I blogged about it, so I figured I'd do it again. I'm of two minds about my pull list, while I enjoy reading comics, I really don't care for collecting them. I'd much rather have a square-bound book I can throw on a bookcase rather than a floppy I'll just end up throwing in a plastic tub in the basement. I essentially have two rules when it comes to buying singles, generally, I'll only buy titles if:

1. The book needs every single reader in order to keep cancellation at bay (the late, great, no really great, Gotham Central).
2. The book comes out so, very, very rarely, I'll be in the grave long before it gets collected (Planetary).

With those rules in place, let's see what's on the list:

Blue Beetle: Perfect example of rule #1. A fantastic book that nobody buys. A fun yet poignant look at what being a teenage superhero really could be (at least in the DCU). This is the type of book everyone bitches that comics companies don't publish anymore. Unfortunately, the same people who bitch like that, don't buy this book.

Manhunter: Rule #1. On the other side of the spectrum from Blue Beetle, there's Manhunter. This is a dark(ish), street-level, superhero book that still manages to be light on it's feet. This book proves you can explore "adult" themes in a superhero book without having to lean on rote uses of bad language and sex. Really, this book and Blue Beetle are very similar, in that they are about new heroes, still finding their way in the DCU. Also, they both feature a very deep cast of characters that both lean on, and enrich, the underlying continuity of the DCU.

Booster Gold: This series is a lot of fun and nobody buys it. Rule #1.

The Immortal Iron Fist: I have a lot of love for Ed Brubaker and Matt Fraction. Put plainly, they're easily my favorite writers working today. The fact that they tend to work together is even better. Oddly enough, after 16 amazing issues of Iron Fist (and a gang of Specials and Annuals) they departed for the more lucrative waters of the X-Men. Normally, that would lead me to drop a title, but, after two issues of Duane Swierczynski and Travel Foreman's run, I think I'm staying on this book for the long haul. Though Foreman's work isn't really to my taste, the writing is mirroring Bru & Fraction's deft touch..

Captain America: This is pretty much the only title that deviates whole-hog from the rules, but Brubaker is just doing so much with this book, that I have to read it every month. This is pretty much the only book that I just can't bring myself to wait for the trade.

Hellboy: Hellboy is a tough nut for me. On one side, this was originally a rule #2 title, in that we were lucky to get a mini every two years or so, but now that Mignola is farming out the art (to very gifted artists, mind you) the series is coming out at a quite regular clip. I should switch to trades, but it's so darn good.

Nova: I've long had a soft spot for Nova since I was a kid and the current series, launching out of the superlative Annihilation event is a hoot. The only problem is that it's almost doing too well. I may have to drop this one in favor of trades soon.

X-Factor: This series, on the other hand, is gone. Despite holding up admirably in the face of God knows how many cross-overs and tie-ins, there just doesn't seem to be any actual story there any more. I re-read the first few years of this book and I forgot how good it was when they didn't have to deal with the House of Civil Invasion We Stand bullshit.

Criminal: Criminal, which could easily fall under rule number 1, also has the distinction of having created the new, Rule #3: the single issue delivers more content than the trades. Criminal is almost more than a comic, it's a crime magazine. The back-up essays (which are not in the collections) are almost worth the price of admission on their own. I almost inevitably end up running to my Netflix cue the evening when the newest issue comes out, and that's a good thing.

Fell: Well, though this book came out at a fairly good clip originally, it's fallen into a rule #2 book. That said, it also usually as some good backmatter and hey, it's only $2, so you really can't go wrong.

Trinity: You know, I really liked 52, it was far from perfect, but it was great to have a book that you wanted to read there every week. Luckily, I sat out Countdown, since conventional wisdom has indicated that it was crap on toast. Due to Busiek being in the driver's seat on Trinity, I was in from the start, and, to be honest the jury is still out. I've enjoyed what I've read, but man, it's pretty dense, and I don't even think they've gotten to the main plot line yet. I have the last 14 weeks of books in a stack, so I think next weekend, I'm gonna go through i all in one sitting and make a final decision to see if I'm in for the long haul.

Planetary: Oh yeah, almost forgot this one. Apparently, there's one more issue to go, I'll be lucky if I see it before my 5 year-old hits college.

So that's what I'm getting. There are a few other books that I'll pop in on here and there, but these are the only ones on the official list. Here's a quick look at what I've dropped recently.

Astonishing X-Men: A rule #2 title, but once Whedon finished his run, the getting seemed to be good. I'm sure I'll pick up Ellis's run in the trades, but it's not required reading anymore.

Ex Machina: Bunch of reasons for dropping this one: 1) it doesn't need me anymore, I have a feeling Vaughn has the rope to run this title as long as he wants. 2) the schedule is spotty. 3) It reads far better in collected form. 4) Those hardcovers they just started coming out with are purty, so that's the far better investment for me.

That was fu, maybe I'll hit up the series I'm getting consistently in trade-form next, but that could be just too depressing to contemplate.

Movie Review: Death Race

The brainless action picture has been in a rut of late. Ever since Arnold Schwarzenegger got a more respectable job (in theory), Stallone decided his movies had to "mean" something, and Mel Gibson went bat-shit insane there really hasn't been anyone to take up the slack. Sure, Jet Li made an admirable attempt, but, unfortunately, his American flicks tend to be crap. Fortunately, Jason Statham came along and has finally provided TNT with new movies to show at midnight for drunk college kids (and myself) to watch. The latest of these is Death Race, ostensibly, an update of Death Race 2000. I haven't seen the original in over ten years, so my memory is a little hazy, but I seem to remember it going for a more satirical edge than this, incredibly straight-forward action flick. And straight-forward it is, this is one lean movie.

The set-up is that it's 2012 and the economy is in an even worse shambles than it is right now, and because of this, all of the nation's prisons have been out-sourced to for-profit companies (funny, I thought this had already been done). Anyway, these companies make their money by putting on gladiatorial competitions, the most popular of which is Death Race. Jason Statham, a just-laid-off steel worker, is framed for his wife's murder and thrown in the clink. Apparently, the star of the Death Race enterprise, Frankenstein, is under the weather, and his corporate master, Joan Allen (slumming, the disdain for the things she has to do to pay the mortgage on her place in the Hamptons, showing on her face) needs someone to wear the Frank mask. Fortunately, her new inmate, Statham, happens to be a kick-ass driver! What a coinky-dink! You don't think that, perhaps, Allen had something to do with his wife's death do you? DUN-DUN-DUNNNNNN!

The thing is, there's no doubt she had his wife killed, in fact, there's nothing mysterious about this movie at all, no shocking reveals, no characters changing sides, everything is exactly as it seems to be, and it's kind of refreshing. They don't dick around with character development or plot, they just get straight to the death-racin', which is pretty cool. The whole thing is set up like a video game, in order to use their guns or defensive weapons, the drivers have to pass over power-ups on the course. It's made up of three races with increasing difficulty and a whole ton carnage.

This is a fun movie, there were times I was literally laughing at the insanity, and that's a good thing. Obviously, it's not a "good" movie, but it does exactly what you'd want a movie named Death Race to do. The only big problem with the movie is the track. All three races take place on the same, abandoned warehouse/industrial site and it's gets old quick. If there is a sequel, I seriously hope that they take the race out on the road, just to break up the monotony. The only other problem is that Ian McShane was in the movie and he didn't say "cocksuker" even once. I mean, if you're going to have him in a R-rated flick, why the hell not? Though Joan Allen does say it once, so that's gotta count for something.

Also, it could just be the few IQ points peeled off by seeing this movie, but now I'm excited for Fast & Furious. That trailer looked pretty darn cool.

Laying Odds: Secret Invasion!

I'll be honest, I'm not really interested in Secret Invasion. I got the first issue because it was 75 cents and I've read through the other four issues at the shop to take a look at the current "shocking reveals!". The thing with the series is, that the whole thing is based upon the "everything you know is wrong!" way of shocking storytelling. That means to me, pretty much everything in the first seven issues is going to be bullshit, and maybe, if we're lucky, there will be something like a resolution in the last issue. But I'm not hopeful since neither Civil War or House of M ended with one. The one thing I am sure of, is that there will be some type of deus ex machina that sets everything right at the end, and odds are, it's one Bendis can point to at the end and say, "If you'd read all of my stuff, you would have seen this coming." Now, I don't really believe that he's planned this far ahead, but he become so damn ubiquitous, there's enough of his stuff from five years ago at Marvel to allow him a pretty wide swath, so here are my odds on who we're going to see pop up on page 30 of Secret Invasion #8 ad make us all say (with varying degrees of delight/anger) "WTF!":

Scarlet Witch: 3-2

Pros: Let's face it, she's been set up for redemption ever since Bendis's first big "event", Avengers Disassembled, so it'll make sense for her to pop up to save the day here by saying "No more Skrulls."

Cons: Runs the risk of replacing Superboy PUNCH! as the all time winner of BS auto-retcons.

Nick Fury: 3-1

Pros: Well, prior to issue #3 and after, I would've given him lower odds, since he's been set up ever since Secret War to swoop in and save the day. But, since he resurfaced, he's done sweet FA.

Cons: This would mean that Marvel's done something interesting with Fury, they've been resistant of this since the 1970's.

Spider-Woman: 5-1

Pros: Apparently she has an on-going leading out of this series, so I imagine that they'll have her do something worth-while in this book. She's one of Bendis's pet characters.

Cons: Seriously, Spider-Woman? I knew she was lame when I was five.

Thor: 8-1

Pros: Well, since the Thor that JMS brought back is not really the Thor anyone remembers, they could bring back the "old" Thor to much fanfare.

Cons: Retconning Thor for the second time in a year could really piss people off.

Captain America: 10-1

Pros: They killed him in the last big event, it makes sense that he returns to the land of the living to wipe up the next one.

Cons: I have a feeling that Cap's return will be told in his own book, not tabbed onto the end of an event book. Plus, everyone know that it'll be a far better story if Brubaker is left to his own devices.

Reed Richards: 10-1

Pros: A) He's the smartest guy int the Marvel U, so it would figure. B) He did, kinda, start this, so it would figure that he'd end it?

Cons: Well, since he made a gun, that apparently, kills Skrulls (whop-de-do!) in ish #5, I figure that they blew their wad on having Reed save the day, so it's not likely.

The Sentry: 12-1

Pros: Marvel's most powerful head-case has got to eventually do something, sometime, right?

Cons: He hasn't done anything yet, so until he does something, I'm not laying any cash that he will.

Jessica Jones: 15-1

Pros: Another of Bendis's pets. Really no other reason.

Cons: No.


Hawkeye: 16-1

Pros: Well, they had to have killed him and resurrected him for a reason, and they haven't given one yet. Plus, his blood-thirstiness in the latest issue seems to lead me to believe that they're going to do something with him.

Cons: It's Hawkeye, he's an ass. Who wants that guy to be the big hero?



Mephisto: 23-1

Pros: Well, he likes fuckin' around with human affairs and this is a biggie. He could exact a high cost. Marvel could probably sell and extra 50,000 copies to fanboys just so they could burn them (kerosene-soaked cover variant!).

Cons: Let's assume for one minute that Marvel doesn't want to piss off 90% of the people who buy their books, just for a minute.

The Retroactive Cannon: 1,865-1

Pros: It proves that someone remembers Dan Slott's run on She-Hulk.

Cons: Nope, that book was too good to get involved with this cluster-fuck.

Brother Voodoo: 1,000,000-1

Pros: I would think it was really cool.

Cons: Not gonna happen.

ZOMBIES: I refuse to give odds

Pros: Think of the marketing! Think of the variants!

Cons: Seriously Marvel, the first step to solving a problem is admitting you have one. Your addiction to Zombies is killing us. Think of the children, Marvel, think of the children!

OK, that's what I got right now. Internet, what do you think?

Friday Night Fights - Ladies' Night: Round 4

Here's a dating pro-tip, it's best not to try to hit on the French-Canadian, schizophrenic girl while you're naked.

This, and other important dating tips, can be found in Alpha Flight Classic Vol. 1

Bahlactus needs no such lessons!

Hawkman...One More Time

Apparently, my entry was chosen as the winner amongst the entries for the Conditional Axe's Hawkman Revamp Contest. This is too cool for words and I really can't thank Jeff enough for the contest and the amazing prize of a sketch of Hawkman by Bejamin Birdie (Co-Creator & Artist of my favorite comic-shop-based webcomic, The Rack). Thanks again to everyone involved!

Cover of the Year

Question: How do you get me super-duper excited for the new volume of Phonogram?

Answer: Unveil this cover:

Click to embiggen

Gosh, that is nice. You can't go wrong combining two of my favorite things, comics and The Pipettes. For more about Phonogram, go here.

You can also check out my review of the first volume here.

Friday Night Fights - Ladies' Night: Round 3

Hey kids! Let's go dancing with Black Widow!

Bahlactus has been known to cut a rug....

O, Where Have You Gone, Hawkman?

Taking a break from his tireless crusade to get Honor Jackson his due in the DC Universe, Jeff @ The Conditional Axe has put it to the blogging masses to come up with a new direction for Hawkman. Why does Hawkman need a new direction you say? Well, for nigh on 20 years, ever since Crisis on Infinite Earths, Hawkman has been a continuital cluster fuck for all who dared to enter. I think there was a period during the early nineties where they were actually retconning one of his origins before they had actually finished publishing it, and now, Jim Starlin has thrown his hat into the ring, re-inventing the HM for a whole new generation to get confused over. But it doesn't have to be this way, no it doesn't. Back when they brought him back from the dead, DC restarted a new series what had provided him a new direction in a new city. I'd take that same premise and turn it just a little to the side and I think good things could happen, it all starts with a few basic changes:

1. Blow up Thanagar. I don't want to completely remove Hawkman's alien roots, but I want to get them off of the page for a while. The damn war that's been going on between Rann and Thanagar is a giant, soul-sucking albatross around the neck of the character and it needs to be resolved and promptly moved out of the lime-light. He needs to be an earth-bound hero for a while, and really the only way to do that is to take Thanagar off the map.


2. Drop Hawkgirl. While the "star-crossed lovers" aspect of the Hawk-mythos is a compelling one, the fact that Kendra just isn't that into Carter makes the whole thing rather creepy and stalker-ish. Have Carter realize this and leave her behind. Let Hawkgirl continue on with the JLA and find her own way in the DCU.


3. Put Hawkman in charge of a museum. Put plainly, my re-imagining of Hawkman's concept can be pretty much described as, "Indiana Jones with wings and a big, ruddy mace." Put him in charge of a museum and give him a teaching job on top of it. this is a guy with literally thousands of years of knowledge in his head, it should be put to good use. I'd also get rid of his secret identity, there's really no reason for him to have one. His only relations are Northwind and Hawkgirl, and they can take care of themselves.


4. Along with the above, I'd get him out of the US, while St. Roch was an interesting locale, it felt too much like James Robinson was trying to build a "new" Opal City for Hawkman. I'd move him to a historic European city, maybe Berlin. We don't see enough places that are outside the US in the DCU and it would give him room to move without bumping into the thousands of heroes that litter the States.


5. Give him a purpose. I'd go back to his Egyptian roots and give him a quest for objects tying into his status as a former Pharaoh, and perhaps the inspiration behind the god Horus (I know, he's apparently a falcon-god, but work with me). From my quick scanning of Wikipedia, apparently Horus had run-ins with Set, the Egyptian god of evil, which works very well for our purposes. Set him, and his museum colleagues, up as chasing down some type of mystical macguffin which requires the to do some globe-trotting to both cities/other museums and archaeological dig sites. I'd set up against them some type of Set-cult, maybe tied into one of the several million other evil cults that currently patrol the DCU (Kobra, Brother Blood, Amway). On top of this, I'd throw Checkmate into the mix as a wild card. They'd be working behind the scenes to get the macguffin for themselves (as it's too powerful to be in the hands of anyone but the government, yada, yada, yada...)against both parties and it would set up well for the endgame. Really, this could be a cool concept. Not everything would have to tie into the grand plan, you could have smaller stories of them on digs dealing with local issues, and it could be a lot of fun. Along with his team, I'd also include his "son" Northwind. Show him trying to bring out his humanity and teach him to be a hero. Right now I've got like four different story-arcs floating through my head, but I'm going to stop there.

OK, I realize that this is all horribly disjointed and also not very original, but I guess that's the point (the not original part). The good stuff for Hawkman has already been established, and though there are always going to be continuity issues to be ironed out, they can be ignored with the genesis of a good series to distract people (just look at post-OMD Spider-Man).

A Serious Note

John, the guy who buys Bully his cookies and comics, has posted a sobering and thoughtful article on the current state of affairs at Comic-con in reference to sexual harassment and other boorish things that comics fans have been getting away with far too long, please go over and take a look, though I can probably guarantee, it'll get you down.

Have you read it? No? Go now!

Back? OK, here's my reaction (previously posted in The Conditional Axe's comments):

The sad thing about this, until CCI is given a monetary reason to confront this problem, they probably will not, deluding themselves into thinking they do not have responsibility over the acts of "some bad apples". Sometime, most likely soon, one of three possible things will happen:

1. Marvel and/or DC will step up and say, "Deal with this, or we stay home." Actually, this would be better if the movie studios said this, but it's still doubtful any of them will stand up.

2. Someone will file a civil suit against CCI (plus the convention hall and the City of San Diego) for enabling the harassment. While the plaintiff will probably lose the suit, it will cost their insurers quite a bit in defense costs, plus it will be a PR nightmare. If you think the City has a problem with the image of comic book fans/losers descending upon their city, imagine them confronting the thought of comic book fans/losers/rapists coming to town.

3. Some moron does something horrible and the police get involved. This could lead to CCI being criminally liable. That's when things would get really bad for everyone involved. Sadly, this could be our most likely outcome.

Any way you cut it,it's bad, and it's part of the reason that I'm afraid to start bringing my kids to Cons. I don't necessarily want the image of daddy beating the snot out of some moron in a furry suit just because the guy thought that grabbing boobs was his god-given right stuck in their heads.

An Important Message From the Middleman:

Seriously people, if you haven't at least checked out the Middleman (Mondays 9PM CST on ABC Family), you really, really don't know what you're missing. I'd really like a second season, so help me out?

Friday Night Fights - Ladies' Night: Round 2

Hey Phobia! Howsabout you ask Manhunter a stupid question?

How'd that work out for ya?

Bahlactus fears nothing!

Two Great Pop Songs About Dancing

Thanks to Matt Springer, I picked up Partie Traumatic by Black Kids and pretty much agreed with his assessment. Two great pop songs, six good ones and 2 complete clunkers. But man, those two good songs are really, really good, especially I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How To Dance With You. The more I listened to the song, the more it sounded like an answer to the Pipettes' It Hurts to See You Dance So Well, a great song off of the Official Phoning It In Industries Best Pop Album of the Millennium (so far), We Are The Pipettes. Anyway, give em a listen and pick up the albums if you feel so inclined:

The Pipettes - It Hurts to See You Dance So Well

Black Kids - I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How To Dance With You

Just in Case You Were Wondering:

23


Thanks to Chris @ The ISB for point this out.

Friday Night Fights - Ladies' Night

What the hay is going on?
ONLY BAHLACTUS KNOWS!

Images from The Order Vol.1, a book that exceeds the your daily requirements for Communist Bear-Fighting, not to mention the Zobos (that's Zombie Hobos).

Three Crime Movies

Thanks to a confluence of things (Cubs playing late on the west coast, very few shows I care about on TV, the boys going to bed early), I've actually had some time to clear out the movies that Netflix has so kindly rented to me for the last several weeks. The last three in a row were all crime movies of various vintage, so I decided I'd write some short reviews of them all:

In Bruges was a small movie that came and went pretty quickly last spring starring Brenden Gleeson and Colin Farrell as two British gangsters cooling their heels in Bruges, Belgium while awaiting orders fromt ehir boss (Ralph Fiennes) after Farrell spectacularly messed up a hit-job back home.

Though this movie was sold as a more mad-cap crime romp, it's actually a very melancholy flick about the price of being a gangster can exact on your soul. Farrell plays a guy new to being a gangster, who realizes that it's obviously not what it was cracked up to be. Both Gleeson and Fiennes are very good as hard men who have been in the game long enough to understand that sometimes you just have to play the role of being a hard man, despite the fact that you just don't want to be one anymore.

Overall, it's a good movie, but it's pretty darn depressing. However, you do get a drug-addled, racist dwarf.

Next there was Blast of Silence, a small movie made in the late 50's about a hit man back in NYC to do a job. Truth be told, I was originally led to pick this one up due to the very nice DVD cover illustrated by Sean Phillips (Sleeper, Criminal) and later by an essay in the back-matter of an issue of Criminal. It's an interesting move, not so much because of the story, but of the film-making. The striking thing was the use of location, real New York City locations, which you really don't see a lot of in this era of movie-making, especially for low-budget crime movies. It's just a side of America you didn't see, and it adds to the realism. The other thing about the movie is its narration, which comes off almost sounding as a motivational tape for hit men with low self-esteem. The narrator actually speaks to the "hero", Frankie, guiding him through tough moments, trying to keep up his courage. I'll be honest, it's not a great movie, it's novel for its period and well worth a viewing though.

Finally, there's Charley Varrick, an early 70's heist movie starring Walter Matthau. Charley Varrick is a small-time bank thief, who, with his crew, knocks over a small time bank to find it chock-full of mob money. The rest of the movie is spent watching Charley trying to get the money back to the mob before their man, Mr. Molly (played by an intense Joe Don Baker), tracks him down and does very bad things to him. This is a very good movie, the only problem being that it has influenced so many movies and comics that have come out since, you've practically seen it all before. Matt Fraction's Last of the Independents is a big example of this since the entire plot of the book (along with the title) is taken whole hog. In fact, I'm amazed they were able to sell it as a movie pitch (it was optioned late last week) since you could argue it's more of an adaptation than an original story. Mind you, I'm not claiming any shenanigans on Fraction's (or the artist, Kierion Dwyer) part, since he lays out his influences plainly in the acknowledgements to his book.

Another thing that stuck out for me is that the phrase, "they'll ... go to work on you with a pair of pliers and a blow-torch." originated in this film. This further goes to prove to me that Quentin Tarantino doesn't write screenplays so much as he cuts and pastes them from other movies.

ANYWAY, Chraley Varick is a good little heist movie and it takes you back to the 70's, when you could make your hero a unrepentant thief and murderer and still have him be incredibly sympathetic.

So that's what I got for today, now: on to Shark Week.

Movie Review: X-Files: I Want to Believe

Y'know, back in the 90's I was a hu-uge X-Files fan, even went to a convention (with this guy). The convention proved to me one thing, no matter how nerdy I get, I'll never be that nerdy. Anyway, I was a fan, and so were a lot of other people, but then, starting with the release of the first movie, things went downhill. The mythology of the series just got too complicated and too unending to reliably tell stories that people would care about. Then David Duchovney chose to leave the series and, stupidly, Fox decided to run the whole fucking thing into the ground. I pretty much stopped caring long before they finally took it out back and quietly smothered it with a pillow (though Fox told me The X-Files was living on a farm in the "country" and really liked it there).

ANYWAY, thanks to Chris Carter having a script ready to go, and Fox not having much else to put out this summer due to the writers' strike, we all get a new X-Files movie, and surprise of all surprises, it's darn good. Fortunately, Chris Carter (and Frank Spotnitz) chose to jettison all of the mythology crap of the show in order to tell a good old science gone awry tale.

The set-up is that the FBI is faced with a kidnapped Agent and a disgraced Priest who says that he's seen visions that can help them track the abductors. The FBI, no longer used to dealing with psychic mumbo-jumbo, tracks down Scully and through her Mulder, and offer sweep their history under the rug. They really waste no time getting Mulder back into the fold, which is very good, since that shit could've dragged on for a while. From there on, the games begin.

The real key to the movie is the interaction between Mulder and Scully. They're presented a a couple who have dealt with so much mental trauma through their relationship, they're really the only two people who can relate to one another. The flip side of that, is that they can push each other's buttons really, really well. Essentially, they're an old married couple turned up to eleven.

The other key to the movie is that they avoid too many shout-outs to the series. There are very few references and none of the old familiar faces show up (well, one, maybe two, depending upon your level of fandom). This allows the plot to breathe and no one has to worry if there's anything they're missing because it happened in a random episode from season four.

The movie sticks to it guns of being a tight little thriller, avoiding big action set-pieces and steers clear of two much in the way of supernatural shenanigans. Plus, Mulder has a fight with a dog that almost puts Batman's to shame.

Anyhoo, I could go on for a while, but suffice to say, I liked the movie and I would highly recommend it, especially to fans of the show. From what I've seen of the box office returns, it looks like this will probably be the final ride of the X-Files on any screen for quite some time, so get on down to the multiplex and enjoy it.

Weekly Singles: 7.23.08

Good googly-moogly, can someone make this fucking weekend. Oh well, at least Wednesday came, and with it, a whole gang o' comics!

Uncanny X-Men #500 - Y'know, I hemmed and hawed over getting this issue. Sure, it was written by Matt Fraction and Ed Brubaker, probably my favorite two writers right now, plus they're just coming off of a fantastic run on Iron Fist. But, there was the Greg Land problem. I just can't wrap my head around his traced, ultra-rigid artwork. His art just lacks all sense of movement and it completely throws me off. Anyway, after a quick flip-through and seeing that Land was alternating with the Dodson's on are, I decided to give it a whirl. I must say it's pretty good, not the usual blow-out that an anniversary issue is, but since this is more of a set-up issue, rather than a story-line capper that most big anniversary issues are, it works pretty well. I'll be honest, I've wanted to like an X-Men on-going for a while (Astonishing didn't count), so I may have to give this one a try for a while.

Ambush Bug: Year None #1 - Bullet points for this one:

• It's funny
• I'm really happy to see Giffen drawing in his old "new" style again
• It's so steeped in DC continuity, I feel they should release a special archives collection just to help with all of the references
• For that reason, it's pretty impenetrable to anyone who didn't read A LOT of DC in the 80's
• I'm in.

Brave And The Bold #15 - A good conclusion to last month's story. Not much more to say about this, too busy of a week for me to get too excited about it.

The Immortal Iron Fist #17 - Swierczynski & Foreman's first issue measures up to what's come previously, so I'm very happy with it. Hopefully the rest of the storyline will continue with this level of quality.

She-Hulk #31 - Bought this due to the cross-over w/ X-Factor from last week. Meh.

BEST OF THE WEEK

Dan Dare #7 - This is a book I really haven't talked about a lot. Garth Ennis and Gary Erskine have created a darn fine boy's adventure space opera here and it has been a really fun read. The y bring their first storyline to a close here (it promises a new "saga" in September) and we begin, as all good adventure stories do, with our hero in dire circumstances and the entire planet in peril. The whole thing reads like one of Ennis's excellent WWII tales, but in space. Adding to it all, it's just so very British, you almost feel like you should stop to have a cup of tea midway through. Though definitely familiar with the name, Dan Dare, I've never been exposed to any of the previous material, but I'm looking forward to hinting some down now.

So that's what I got, I'm hoping to get a robust assessment of the first two months of Trinity up sometime the weekend, plus maybe I'll throw some other random stuff up as well. Looking forward to checking out The X-Files this weekend, plus another showing of Dark Knight.

The Secret Theme of Secret Wars II

Now, I've mentioned before that Marvel's original Secret Wars mini-series was a critical moment in my comic book geekiness. After years spent wandering in the comic wilderness only reading comics about toys, I was shown how truly awesome superhero books could be.

A few years later, Marvel let loose a sequel that also taught me an important lesson. They showed me how truly fucking awful bad superhero comics could be. However, over at Poptown, Phil Looney decided to take a trip down memory lane, reexamining the first four issues of this truly mind-numbing series. After reading what he had to say (and then spending several hours over at DazzlerFan, the internet's #4 Dazzler-Fan-Site!), I decided to take a look at the next few issues, and yes, it still sucks. But under it all, I found something, under the terrible artwork, under the ham-handed dialogue, I found what the true theme of Secret Wars II was:

IMMIGRATION

Man, Cap was quite the Republican in the 80's.

More Dark Knight Thoughts

***BAT-PIRATE SAYS: DARK KNIGHT SPOILERS AHEAD MATEY!***

So I've been chewing this over in my mind since I saw the movie last night, they really drove the point home that Batman is alone at the end of the movie. Of the people who know Bruce is Batman, Rachel is dead, Lucius' status is questionable (he resigned, but did he take it back when Bruce let him blow up the listening equipment?) and Alfred, well Alfred's still cool, but he still needs a little more. On top of that he has to deal with the fact that Harvey Dent has turned evil and Gordon has to, at least publicly, come after him. I guess the point is, did they do this to set up the possible introduction of a partner in the next movie?

Obviously, we're talking about Robin here, and I realize that the conventional wisdom is that Robin=FAIL, and Christian Bale's already discussed that Robin's inclusion pretty much guarantees his exit from the series, but it just felt odd to me that they would hit the isolation theme so hard at the end without having a plan to bring it full circle. Given Nolan, Goyer, etal's track record so far on the series, you almost have to give them the benefit of the doubt, even if they tried and it didn't work, it would still probably go down as a noble failure. I mean, I'm pretty positive at least there will be no more nipples featured on the bat-suits.

Unfiltered Dark Knight Thoughts

So yeah, I just literally walked in the door from seeing the movie and cannot possible give a "review" of the movie (and really, why bother, better people have done it elsewhere), so here are my patented, lazy, bullet-pointed thoughts:

• It was great, I think they really nailed the idea of what a Batman would have to be to exist in the real world.
• I knew I was in from a ride because, as I was waiting in line for the sold-out, 7:00 on a Sunday showing, everyone leaving the theater from the previous showing had one of two looks on their faces: stunned shock or really pissed-off. NOTE: the pissed off faces were reserved to mothers who were escorting out their now-mentally-scarred five-year-old children. Read the fucking ratings people.
  
• Bravo for skipping an origin for the Joker. They played him as exactly as he should be, an irresistible, unexplainable force of chaos.
• Ledger was very good, you actually found yourself laughing at his "jokes" despite yourself. Truth-be-told, I don't know if it was oscar-worthy, but it was pretty definitive.
• Obviously, Heath Ledger's death was a tragedy, but it's also a shame that his death will push his performance over Aaron Eckhardt's excellent work as Harvey Dent. I really think his role had more "meat" to it. Think about it, while the Joker was simply the Joker through the whole thing, Eckhardt had to show us Dent's whole evolution, that took a lot of work to be done right.
• Speaking of performances, I will admit to apologizing for Katie Holmes' work in Batman Begins, thinking that she really didn't have much of a role to work with. But.....after seeing Maggie Gyllenhall, y'know, actually "act" in the role, I'm reversing my opinion that Katie Holmes really sucked in Batman Begins.
• Hey, look, Anthony Michael Hall!
• As much as I love my city, it was really distracting for me to see all of the Chicago locations, I kept thinking to myself, "It's Lower Wacker, not Lower 5th!" My damage, I know. Then again, I always thought Gotham should be Chicago to Metropolis's New York, trying to pass them both off as pseudo-NY's never made much sense to me.
• Why the fuck does the Mayor of Gotham-Fucking-City wear eye-liner?
• Since The Dark Knight made just amount the same in its opening weekend as both Iron Man & The Incredible Hulk combined, can we just stop with the whole, "DC can't make movies out of their characters" BS? Please?
• Speaking of, Warner Bros.? Cut the check to Bale and Nolan this freaking week for number three. I think you can get one more movie out of this cast and crew and I want to see it. TOMORROW.
• Hey look, Harvey Dent just shot a cop at The Twin Anchors!
  
• Glad to see they tied up a plot point left open from Begins first thing in the movie, really helped with the continuity.
• ***SPOILERS***I just realized, the Bat Cave did not make an appearance in the movie at all. Nice to see the 70's-era penthouse get some air-time.
• Overall, it's the best movie I've seen all summer (yes, better than Speed Racer), but I'm gonna have to give it some time to see where it settles all-time. I imagine I'll be seeing it again next weekend.
  

Weekly Singles - 7.16.08

Here we go, here we go, here we go....

X-Factor #33 - I really can't explain it, but despite complaining that I was ready to drop this title last month, it manages to draw me back in. Maybe it's because this title really only seems to have momentum when it's in the midst of a big cross-over, it seems like it's been 2 years since the book has actually had a story arch of their own. I guess the big draw for this issue (other than the SI tie-in) is that Peter David has reunited with Larry Stroman, the artist from his "classic" X-Factor run, but it's no big deal for me. In fact, I loved those old books more in spite of Stroman than because of him. His art is a weird mix of "90's Extreme" and "cartoony" that doesn't work for me. Anyway they've got me through this crossover, and if it keeps up, I'll be back on-board for the long(er) haul.

Final Crisis: Rogues' Revenge #1 - Geoff Johns and Scott Kolins' run on The Flash was the first run I had really followed of that character and I really liked what they did, but it didn't seem to last long enough. This is a pretty darn good continuation of their past stuff, so I'll be happy to hop on and see where it goes.

Captain America #40 - So yeah, still not much to say. This is a really amazing series, forty issues into this latest relaunch they're still playing off of plot threads set up in the first issue. Normally that would be a prescription for pissing readers off, but just the level of sophistication in the story-telling by Ed Brubaker and Steve Epting (and Mike Perkins and others as well) is just fantastic. I love this book, and while I'm excited for the finish of this long-ass story arc, I'm just as excited to enjoy the ride.

Trinity #7 - I know, I know, I said that I'd go with one-a-month on this series, but this issue finally seems to be getting somewhere. The threat seems to finally gain some weight and we get a good scene of Batman ordering everyone around, showing just how deep his hooks into superhero-dom of the DCU go. Good stuff, a more robust opinion will come along next week.

Marvel Adventures: Avengers #28 - Pretty much what Kevin said.

Oh yeah, and apparently:

Hulk hates the Robot

So that's what I got, no real clear winner on "Best of the Week", but I guess I'd give it to Trinity for finally going somewhere. See y'all soon.

Brief Sports Post

So, I totally didn't see the Harden trade coming, but it makes me very happy. Of course, Buster Olney has to immediately harsh my buzz by referring to him as a "Mark Prior redux", meaning that the dude has spent his fair share of time on the DL during his six-year career. Hopefully he's not a total d-bag as well to complete the comparison. But anyway, after two days of convincing myself that I wasn't worried about the Sabathia trade,I feel even more relaxed about the whole thing. Especially since Sheets is due for his annual month's vacation on the DL. Enjoy those towel-drills Ben!

The one thing is, doesn't St. Louis have to do something now? I mean, Carpenter isn't coming back this year and the rest of rotation is starting to show a little rust, so now they gotta go out and get someone just to keep up with the Joneses. Hmmmm.... I know they were tossing around bringing in Barry Bonds during the off-season, maybe they'll decide to bring back the other steroid-ridden asshole that no major league team wants to touch. Hey Calvin, howsabout Roget Clemens in a Cards uniform?

Happy Birthday to Me

You know, I was OK with turning 34, until I realized:

I am now older than Iron Fist.

Damn, that hurts. And I don't even get the Luke Cage in a party hat at my party.

Happy Fourth of July

Somewhere in my basement I have this figure buried, along with all my other, semi-destroyed megos. Anyway, hope all of you have a happy fourth, and that you manage not to blow off any extremities.

Weekly Singles - 7.2.08

Hellboy: The Crooked Man #1 - So a new Hellboy hits the stands just in time for the movie, and judging from the first issue, it's quite good. Mike Mignola does the writing and he's joined by the legendary Richard Corben on the art ( he also did art on Hellboy: Makoma). This is a flashback story to Hellboy dealing with witches in Appalachia in the late 50's. It's nicer to see a "smaller" Hellboy story, I love the giant, Lovecraft-ian monsters and the world-endangering threats that he deals with most of the time, just as much as the next guy, but the "smaller" stories seem to be the ones that possess the most character. Good stuff.

Batman # 678 - Part 3 of Batman: R.I.P. is good, but obviously, Morrison is still bringing us all into the bigger picture. I'm confused, but enjoying it quite a bit. I'll probably throw up a story-line wide review up once it's over.

Manhunter #32 - Damn Andreyko, that's just cold. I realize we're dealing with the Joker here, but man. Anyway, the relaunch of this very good series continues on it's way, tip-toeing through US-Mexican border politics very nimbly. Gosh, I hope this series sticks this time.

Blue Beetle #28 - Will Pfeifer steps in for another fill-in before new writer Matt Sturges takes over next month with a nice little story about Blue Beetle dealing with a "legacy-villain" from the Dan Garret BB days. It's a good little story and that's about it.

Trinity #5 - The fight with Konvikt ends....finally. Switching to reviewing this book once-a-month, so see you at #8.

Jonah Hex #33 - So, Darwyn Cooke draws Jonah Hex, then I will buy Jonah Hex. This is a very good, if heart-breaking tale of Hex dealing with some not so do-right mounties in the Canadian wilderness, as seen through the eyes of a little boy who he saves, mostly through no fault of his own. Truth-be-told, I'd buy freaking Millie the Model if Cooke was on art, but his work is very good here, and it's obvious the story was tailored to him. Highly recommended, plus always remember:

Icicles can be dangerous.

BEST OF THE WEEK

Billy Batson and the Magic of Shazam #1 - Mike Kunkel (author of Herobear & the Kid) takes up where Jeff Smith's fantastic Shazam and the Monster Society of Evil left off and has launched a new all-ages series featuring the Big Red Cheese and it maintains the original series' excellence. As much as I loved this book, there's not much to say about it, it's smart, hilarious and fickin' adorable.