Tony Stark - Fashion Criminal

In an effort to provide some further evidence to support Dr. Campbell's thesis on Tony Stark's dickishness, I grabbed some random issues of 80's Iron Man outta the ol' back issue boxes. It seems that while going on the wagon did curb some of Tony's asshole tendencies, and his kung-fu action, it did make him a bit of a clothes horse, and in 1988, in retrospect, that was a bad thing to be. Here are two random fashion crimes of Mr. Stark:


Now let's get one thing straight, I have no problem with the white tux, I mean, Sean Connery rocked a mean one in Dr. No, but this is just 80's fashion at it's worst. The black collar? Bad. The tux with no tie? Worse. The mullet? Aaaiiieeee...my eyes!

Next we have this loverly little ensem:



Whoa there tiger, no use getting so riled up right before your safari. Further investigation (in issue #237) proves this outfit to be some type of khaki, belted, vested, jumpsuit. In real life this outfit would get you laughed at. By me.

Anyhoo, to show that Tony didn't completely lose his mojo after becoming a friend of Bill W., here's some pimp action Stark Enterprises stylie:


That's right baby, you're on your way to the Great White North, and if you don't put out, well, let's just say that 18 hours on a Greyhound bus can't be that bad.

However, to be fair, my delvings into my own consumer past also unearthed this fine bit of fashion, courtesy of Power Man & Iron Fist #121:


And that dude's omniscient!

Hope every one had a great Thanksgiving, and remember, even if you feel fat today after all that turkey and pie and you can only fit into sweatpants, at least you're not in a pink leather disco suit.